just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
