I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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