i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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