NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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