He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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