You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Those nachos came to me in a dream
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
