it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
