hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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