I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
