proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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