a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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