I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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