my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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