we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
