we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
