Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
