she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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