Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
