U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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