So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
