I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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