went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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