I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize