I accidentally had phone sex last night
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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