i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
