At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
