How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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