No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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