Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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