i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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