these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Houston, we have a squirter
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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