Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have aggressive nipples.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
