Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
