I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
