Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
