is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
