I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
two words: eviction party
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
