I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
