He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
