Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Randomize
