like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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