white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
