Betty ford says i'm here all night
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you didnt know i had herpes?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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