Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
