wanna go halves on a baby?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
