Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
