I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
