Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
