so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
