dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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