Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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