Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I will be naked everywhere
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
