sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
