i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
