Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if only i could text you this smell
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize