You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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