My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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