Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize