I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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